I didn't mean to hurt you, really.
I tried my best to conceal my feelings. It was only today, when I really couldn't take it anymore, that I told you how I really felt in these few months.

I thought of a hundred reasons of why I should end this relationship, but those reasons suffice only in the past. You changed into a totally different person now, one that will really value love his other half more than himself. Base on this reason alone, it is more than enough to stay with you and keep our relationship going.

Even though it hurts staying with you as much as breaking up with you, for now, I guess I'd take the chance and hold on, and never look back. It was wrong of me to went to enter that place, but I promise you that I'd never go back there anymore. I could really see how determined you are to help me get over it, and I truly appreciate that.

I love you, I really do. And we'll stay together, till the end of time.

Am I thinking too much? Or is this one of the low point of our relationship? I guess my mood swing was the cause of it...

I've just thought about us. Am I being unfair to you? That I want you to fit into my perception of what a boyfriend should be and not let you define yourself. Do I still feel that you still owe me due to the vast amount of hurt that you'd inflicted on me in the past? I know you are trying your best, but the past isn't something that is easy to be scraped off from my mind. I want to let go of it too, but I really don't know how.

I know I'm imperfect, and you're really the best thing that has ever happened to me because eventually, you still chose me.

Baby, I really don't want to take you for granted. I love you so much, so much.

Time really flies. And you gonna pass out in 1 week's time!

Time really flies when I'm with you too. I guess I'm pms-ing now, which sucks because the time I'm able to spend with you is already so limited yet I'm still being so moody. At times, I ask myself if I really love you, or whether I'm still with you because I'm so used to you being beside me. I admit sometimes I tell myself that I don't feel much for you anymore, to stop myself from hurting so much from thinking about the way you treat me in the past. But I know deep down in my heart I still love you a lot. As cliche as it may sound, I know I can't live without you. Life for both of us for this 2 years gonna be hard. But I know you'll tell me that you'll always be there for me, just like how you whispered that into my ears just now.

And between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

Thought I wouldn't be using this blog much, since I've written down all the entries and passed to you as a gift already.

The 2 days spent with you passed by real quickly. Holding you in my arms seemed like a luxury to me. You serving the army really taught me how to appreciate time spent with you. It's so precious baby.. I've been longing for you everyday, wishing that I could feel your lips against mine, tasting the smell of your mouth(:

And then you told me the rifle ceremony - that you have to shout something about protecting the country with the rifle. Your platoon commander then took you to an area that you could see Singapore, and told you guys that that's Singapore, and you're the reason why your loved ones are safe and you were keeping your tears from falling. Boy I'm proud of you(: You're the reason why we're all safe. I need you so much and I really can't live without you.

3 more days till I get to see you again.

Day 13

I can finally say we're meeting tomorrow! :D:D:D

Finally 2 weeks have passed and I can't wait to hold you in my arms and kiss you! :D I'm already feeling so happy now and I can't imagine how elated I'll be when tomorrow comes:D I bet you're feeling as happy as me too(:

You slept so early today though! Which is good (provided that there's no fire drill in the middle of the night) cause tomorrow you'll have more energy when you meet me!
I shall see how my baby changed during the past 14 days! And you must tell me if I grew fatter during the past 2 weeks okay! I've been eating a lot these few days! ): Must tell me okay!!

Baby I really can't wait to see you tomorrow!! :D

Day 12

So sad you don't have enough time to go back to your bunk ): Have been waiting for you to message the whole day): But the waiting paid off when I get to hear your voice at night! :D And I love your dream! It felt very real isit? I hope you weren't sleep-talking! If not all your bunkmates wil know what you were dreaminga bout:p HEHE. And someone's black! :p I wanna see how tanned you become leh! Got a feeling I will feel very white when I'm beside you:p Don't worry I will still love my black pig a lot a lot no matter how black my black pig will be! :D

Day 11

Second day at work! Guess time pass faster when I'm working. Which is good cause it'll feel like I'll be able to meet you sooner!! yay 1 more working day and I can see you already! :D But now my working place no chocholate already! ): Cannot bring abck and let you eat black chocolate already): And I have sudden craving for meatballs! Dear let's go eat when you book out okay! Then we can tour around in Ikea and play hide-and-see in the section full of mirrors! Faster book out k! I miss you so much ): ):